You Are Not Behind—Or Are You? (Learning to Discern Patience from Procrastination)
You ever feel like life handed you a syllabus you didn’t know existed? Like everyone else just finished the book on how to “live your best life,” and you’re still out here flipping through the table of contents wondering where to start?
At some point, we all hit that moment where we think, “Shouldn’t I be further along by now?” Maybe you’re scrolling through social media, and someone just landed a dream job, bought a house, or launched a business while you’re just proud you remembered to do laundry this week. It’s easy to feel like you’re falling behind when success stories are everywhere—but here’s the truth: you might not be behind… or maybe you actually are.
The Myth of “Being Behind” (And When It’s Actually True)
Behind what, exactly? A timeline that no longer even exists?
There was a time when people expected life to follow a neat little script—graduate, get a steady job, marry young, buy a house, have kids, retire with a pension. But this is a completely different world. The economy is different. Career paths are different. Expectations are different.
And yet, the pressure to keep up is real.
- You see people thriving in careers you don’t even understand – or is that just me? (How did they become a digital nomad at 22??)
- You watch influencers effortlessly build a “successful” life online (Meanwhile, you’re just trying to figure out what’s for dinner – mac and cheese again?).
- You feel like everyone else has it together, while you’re still trying to pay off student loans and make your next move.
But here’s what no one tells you: those people feel behind too. The ones who seem ahead? They’re looking at someone else and thinking the same thing. No one is immune. Comparison is a treadmill you can’t get off of, and Satan loves to keep you running in place—too distracted to see the joy God is trying to pour over you. In John 10:10 Jesus said, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (NIV).
Yet, I can tell you from personal experience, that’s not quite the whole picture. While some of us are not behind and simply walking a different path, others truly are behind—because we have rejected God’s calling, procrastinated on our purpose, or let fear hold us back.
When “Waiting on God” Is Really Avoidance
Sometimes, we tell ourselves we’re being patient, that we’re waiting on God’s timing—when in reality, we’re just afraid to step into what He has already called us to do.
I know this firsthand. I spent years rejecting my calling, making excuses, procrastinating, and choosing my own way instead of God’s. After all—I HAD DREAMS! And if they were so big, so clear, surely they had to be from God… right? He “made me” like this so I’m just going to follow where my heart leads. That is where I will find my truth. Do you see all the wrong thinking in there? Me-I-Me. Rarely ever God.
Then, there were times when I got so hurt or confused about something that I just shut down completely. I just said, “Nope.” Then I buried myself—hid from responsibility, avoided growth. I did just enough to skate by, hoping no one would notice. Certainly, if God wanted something to happen for me then He would open the doors. Right? Turns out, God isn’t my personal locksmith. My dad used to put it this way, “God doesn’t break down locked doors. He’s waiting for you to open them.” Ouch.
Make no mistake, I’ve paid the price for all of it—missing out on things I believe God had planned for my life. I don’t say this to wallow in regret, but to be honest about what happens when we delay obedience or disobey completely.
It’s like Moses leading the Israelites to the Promised Land but not being allowed to enter because of his disobedience (Numbers 20:12). God’s grace is abundant, but our choices still have consequences.
God’s Timing vs. Our Own Stubbornness
The Bible never says, “Thou shalt have life figured out by 30.” Or by 40, or even 50, for that matter. In fact, some of the greatest figures in scripture took the long road:
- Moses didn’t step into his calling until he was 80.
- Paul spent years being refined before he started his ministry.
- Jesus himself spent 30 years preparing for a 3-year mission that changed everything.
But here’s the difference: They weren’t avoiding their purpose out of fear, procrastination, or rebellion.
This is where we need discernment from the Holy Spirit. We need to ask: Am I genuinely trusting God’s timing? Or am I resisting His plan because I don’t want to face what He’s asking of me?
How to Own Your Journey (Without Excuses)
So what do you do when the comparison trap starts whispering that you’re not enough? Or when you realize you’ve actually wasted time? You fight back with truth.
- Recognize When You’re Stuck for the Wrong Reasons – Are you waiting on God, or just avoiding responsibility? Be honest with yourself.
- Repent and Reset – If you’ve been running from what God has called you to do, it’s not too late to turn around.
- Trust That God Redeems Time – Even if you’ve lost years, God can still use your story. God’s not limited by our missed deadlines—He’s the ultimate editor, always able to rewrite our story.
- Take the Next Step – Obedience isn’t about having the whole plan—it’s about saying yes to the one step right in front of you.
Your Story is Written in God’s Book
Here’s the thing—life isn’t a race, and God isn’t holding a stopwatch. But sometimes, we’ve spent so much time looking at everyone else’s lane that we’ve forgotten to actually run in our own. If you’re where you need to be, stop comparing yourself and trust the process. But if you’ve been running from what God has asked you to do? Stop running. Turn around. God isn’t just waiting—He’s calling. The longer you wait, the farther you run, the harder it gets.
The good news? God is still writing your story. I know this because He is still faithfully writing mine. And, more good news, it’s His book. So, no matter how far you’ve strayed, He can still bring you to the place He’s called you to be.
☕ A little faith, a little courage, and a whole lot of stubborn joy. – Tonya
What’s one area of your life where you’ve felt “behind” but are learning to trust the process—or step into obedience? Drop a comment—I’d love to hear your experiences!
© 2025 All posts written by Tonya E. Lee
