I Want to Grow Spiritually, but I Have No Idea Where to Start (A Roadmap for Real Spiritual Growth)

If you’re like me—you’ve had a moment where you thought, “Okay, I want to go way deeper in my faith,” and then immediately got overwhelmed trying to figure out what that even means. Kind of like deciding to get healthy and then finding yourself crying in the protein bar aisle because there are 47 brands, and you still don’t know what chia seeds do. And is it possible to eat that much sugar in a protein bar and still be “healthy”? It’s completely confusing. 

Growing spiritually sounds like something you should know how to do. You believe in God. You’ve been to church. You might even own a Bible that’s been quietly judging you from your shelf for the past few years. And yet, here you are—wanting to grow but unsure how to take the first step without tripping over your own uncertainty and insecurities.

And, let’s not be afraid to say it: most churches don’t exactly offer a How to Grow in Your Faith When You’re Not Even Sure Where to Start pamphlet on your way in. And even if they did, it’d probably be covered in church words that make you feel like you accidentally joined a club where everyone else has been a member since birth and you’re just trying to play catch up.

So, let’s throw out the churchy jargon, the Instagram spirituality, and the pressure to look like you have it all together. Grab a coffee. And let’s just talk about what real spiritual growth looks like. Where do you even begin when you’re standing at square one?

The Myth of the “Spiritual Superhero”

Somewhere along the way, we bought into this idea that spiritual growth is only for the people who wake up at 5 AM to pray for two hours, fast twice a week, and read the entire Bible every January.

Trust me: That’s not what it takes.

Spiritual growth isn’t a competition. It’s not about earning gold stars on God’s divine chart. It’s about transformation—real, honest, deep-rooted change that starts with you becoming more aware of who God is, who you are, and how that relationship works in your everyday life.

If you want to grow spiritually, don’t start by trying to be a spiritual superhero. You start by being honest. With God. With yourself. With where you are and what you’re actually hungry for.

Because spiritual growth isn’t about impressing God. It’s about getting to know Him. And that starts one consistent and intentional step after another. 

Growth Begins With Relationship—Not Performance

You wouldn’t try to build a friendship by memorizing someone’s resume. So why do we approach God like He’s our boss, waiting for our performance review?

For a lot of people, spiritual growth has been shaped by guilt. You miss a morning devotion and suddenly feel like you’ve backslidden into paganism. You forget to pray before dinner and assume God’s disappointed. Quiet time becomes a chore. Church becomes a checklist. And somewhere along the way, you start confusing habits with holiness.

But here’s the honest truth—God is not grading your spiritual report card. He’s not watching from heaven with a clipboard, tracking how many chapters you read or how poetic your prayers sound. He’s not impressed by your Bible reading plan if it isn’t leading you closer to Him.

He’s after your heart.

Spiritual growth doesn’t begin when you try harder—it begins when you stay closer, longer. Not out of obligation but because you’re learning to recognize His voice. Because being near Him changes how you think, how you see people, and how you handle your pain.

In John 15:5, Jesus said, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” (NIV)

He didn’t say, “If you hustle hard enough, fruit will show up.” He said, “Stay with Me—and fruit will come.” That’s the foundation. Not performance. Not perfection. Not a TikTok-worthy devotional life. It’s connection. It’s relationship.

Spiritual growth starts the moment you stop trying to earn God’s approval and start living like you already have it.

You Grow By Doing, Not Just Thinking

Let me tell you a little secret: you could read every book in the Christian living section and still be stuck in the same place spiritually (unless it’s mine, The Thoughtful Christian, because then you would grow EXPONENTIALLY). Kidding. Kinda.😁

But growth doesn’t come from knowing more. It comes from living differently.

You grow when you forgive the person you don’t want to. When you choose prayer instead of panic. When you crack open your Bible even when it doesn’t feel exciting. When you ask God to shape your heart instead of defending your ego.

Growth is built in the little moments. The ones no one else sees.

It’s built in obedience, not just inspiration. And sometimes? It’s built in silence.

Because God doesn’t always speak through fireworks. Sometimes, He speaks in the stillness. But we have to stop long enough to listen.

The First Step? Just Start Walking

You don’t need a 12-week discipleship program to begin.

You just need to start:

• Start reading one chapter of the Bible a day. (The Gospel of John is a great place to start)
• Start praying—even if it’s awkward. Even if it’s just, “God, I’m here. Help.”
• Start asking better questions. Not “What should I do?” but “God, who are You, and what are You teaching me in this?” And then watch and listen. Pay attention. He will show you.

No fanfare. No spotlight. Just quiet, steady steps in the right direction.

You will stumble. That’s part of it. You’ll have days where you feel like a spiritual genius and days where you feel like a spiritual train wreck.

Both are normal. I feel like that all the time. Keep going anyway.

Because spiritual growth isn’t a mountaintop—it’s a continuous process.

And it always starts with one step.

And if you’re still feeling overwhelmed by the idea of growing spiritually, just remember: plants grow in dirt. Messy, imperfect, sometimes smelly conditions. So if you feel like a mess? Perfect. You’re already in fertile ground.

You don’t have to feel holy to be growing. Some days it looks like worship. Some days it looks like crying in your car. Both count.

One step. One day. One very real God who knows what He’s doing—even when we don’t.

☕ A little faith, a little courage, and a whole lot of stubborn joy. – Tonya

Where are you on your spiritual growth journey? Still figuring it out? Got questions you’re afraid to ask? Drop a comment below and let’s talk about it.

© 2025 All posts written by Tonya E. Lee