Letting Go: When Your Past Feels Bigger Than God’s Grace (AKA: Why You’re Not Disqualified, Even If You Think You Are)

There’s something about the past that clings to us like smoke after a fire. You can step out of the wreckage, you can move on, but somehow, the scent of it lingers.

And for a lot of us, that smoke smells like regret. It’s a nasty smell.

It’s the weight of wasted time. The sting of knowing better but doing it anyway. The damage we’ve caused that can’t be undone. The version of ourselves we wish we could erase.

We know God forgives. We believe He redeems. And yet, deep down, we wonder if we’re too far gone, too damaged, too behind to ever be fully useful again.

But can I tell you something? That’s not true.

The past is not your identity or your future. And God is not done with you.

The 4 Things We Struggle to Let Go Of Now:

1. The Sins We “Should Have Known Better” Than to Commit

It’s one thing to mess up when you don’t know better. But what about when you did know better—and still did it anyway?

That kind of failure cuts deep. It’s the kind that makes you feel like you don’t deserve another chance. It whispers, “God might forgive you, but He won’t really use you anymore.”

That’s a lie.

Look at Peter. He walked on water! He was one of Jesus’ closest friends. He witnessed miracles with his own eyes.

And then, when things got hard?

He denied even knowing Jesus. Three times.

And yet, after everything—after all the guilt, all the failure, all the regret—Jesus still looked at Peter and said, “Feed my sheep” (John 21:17).

He didn’t just restore Peter—He trusted him with His people.

So tell me again why you think your failure has disqualified you?  Jesus wasn’t done with Peter. In fact, Jesus used Peter’s experience to prepare him for what was to come in his ministry and the establishment and spread of the church. He used Peter’s failure in a way that still speaks to us today. 

2. The “What Ifs” of a Wasted Past

If I could go back and redo parts of my life, I would. No hesitation. This regret is literally one that can bring me to my knees every time. 

I’ve spent years asking, “What if I had followed God’s plan sooner? What if I hadn’t wasted so much time? What if I had been faithful when He first called me?”

Maybe you’ve asked those same questions.

The regret of wasted years can be suffocating.

But do you know what God says about wasted years?

“I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten.” (Joel 2:25)

God redeems time. Don’t believe me? 

Look at Moses. He spent 40 years in hiding after fleeing Egypt. He killed a guy (What? You didn’t know that Moses was a cold-blooded murderer?) and was sentenced to death. So, he took off out of Egypt. By the time God called him back, he was an 80 year old with a speech impediment.

If anyone had missed their chance, it was Moses. And yet—his greatest calling hadn’t even begun. He still led an entire nation out of slavery.

Maybe you feel like your best years are behind you. But if Moses could fulfill his purpose at 80, what makes you think you’ve run out of time at 21, 28, 30, or even 50 something?

God’s timeline is different from yours. And if He still has you here, He still has work for you to do. If you’re still breathing, God’s not done. He doesn’t waste His breath—so if He’s still filling your lungs, it’s because there’s something He’s calling you to do with it.

3. The Hurt We’ve Caused Others

It’s one thing to struggle with what’s been done to us. But what about what we’ve done to others?

The words you can’t take back.
The trust you broke.
The choices that hurt someone else.

Even after you’ve apologized, even after you’ve laid it before God, moving forward can feel impossible when you know you’ve left damage behind.

I know that weight. For me, it was breaking a friend’s trust—shattering a relationship that meant the world to me. And the worst part? I don’t even have a good excuse. Clout? Ego? Probably. But none of that justifies the pain I caused.

And here’s the hard truth—sometimes, even when you repent, the other person doesn’t forgive you. Sometimes, the relationship isn’t restored. And that? That’s a tough one.

David knew this feeling well. He was a man after God’s own heart, but he also failed in catastrophic ways. He didn’t just sin—he shattered lives and people were killed because of him.

And when he wanted to build the temple for God, God said no. Not because He didn’t love David, but because David had blood on his hands.

That could have been the end of David’s story. He could have let his past define him. But instead of staying stuck in guilt, he built something even greater—a kingdom that led to Jesus Himself.

Did David have consequences? Yes.
Did that stop God from using him? Not for a second.

So let me say this plainly: Your worst moments are not the end of your story. You don’t get to decide what God can do with your life. Only He does.

4. The Shame of Who We Used to Be

Sometimes, the hardest thing to let go of isn’t just the past—it’s the version of ourselves that lived there.

Maybe you were reckless. Maybe you hurt people. Maybe you gave away pieces of yourself in ways you now regret. Maybe you carry memories and choices that feel too heavy to name.

Even after coming to Jesus, it’s easy to feel like you’re still that person—like your past is written in permanent ink, stamped on your soul for everyone (including God) to see.

But here’s the truth: God doesn’t see you through the lens of who you were.

“As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.” (Psalm 103:12)

Do you know how far that is? It’s infinite. East and west never meet. Your past and your future in Christ will never collide again—unless you keep carrying what God has already removed.

You are not who you were. Your past does not define you. Your worst moments are not your identity.

So why are you still carrying something God has already set you free from?

Let it go. It doesn’t belong to you anymore. You are new.

How Do You Actually Let Go?

1.  Believe God’s Word Over Your Feelings. If He says you’re forgiven, you’re forgiven. Period.
2.  Stop Punishing Yourself for What Jesus Already Paid For. You don’t have to keep “making up” for your past.
3. Make Peace With What You Can’t Change. Some things can’t be undone—but they can be redeemed.
4. Move Forward With What You Have Now. You can’t rewrite your past, but you can choose what you do next.

I know letting go isn’t easy. It’s one thing to say, “God forgives me,” but it’s another to actually live like it’s true—to release the weight of regret, to stop punishing yourself, to stop replaying what can’t be undone.

But listen to me—you can let go.

Not because you’re ignoring what happened. Not because it wasn’t serious. But because God Himself has separated you from your sins “as far as the east is from the west” (Psalm 103:12).

So, stop dragging that old baggage into today.

And I get it. I really do. Some wounds leave scars, and some choices leave consequences. But the scars are not chains, and the consequences are not the end of your story.

God isn’t asking you to pretend the past didn’t happen. He’s asking you to trust that He’s bigger than it. That His grace is greater. That your purpose didn’t expire the moment you messed up.

So here’s my challenge to you—stop gripping so tightly to what God has already let go of.

Breathe. Take a deep, full breath.

You don’t have to carry it anymore.

Letting go isn’t just possible—it’s the most beautiful gift God offers us outside of salvation itself. The chance to walk forward—free, unburdened, and unshackled from the past.

And I promise you—there is so much life on the other side!

☕ A little faith, a little courage, and a whole lot of stubborn joy. – Tonya

So, what are you still holding onto? What’s keeping you from stepping fully into the grace that’s already yours? Let’s talk about it. Drop a comment, send a message—I’d love to hear from you.

© 2025 All posts written by Tonya E. Lee