The Art of Starting Over (Because We All Have to Sometimes)
Ever had one of those moments where life feels like a bad 80s music video—big hair, bad choices, chaotic chords, and you’re just waiting for the fade-out? That’s what starting over can feel like. Years ago, I hit a wall when a business I poured my heart, life, and money into fizzled out. I’d bet big on it, only to end up with a bruised ego, a bank account that laughed at me, and zero money left for any kind of retirement. Honestly, I was done. I was forced to file for bankruptcy. I totally shut down. I lost everything including any hope. But there was one thing I hadn’t counted on—God wasn’t done with me. In fact, I was right where He wanted me. And He had other plans. Take it from me, with a few decades of detours behind me: starting over isn’t failure—it’s God’s invitation to build something new.
We’ve all been there—when a plan crashes, a dream dies, or you’re picking up the pieces of a choice that didn’t pan out. Maybe you flunked a semester, got ghosted by a relationship, or watched a side hustle tank. If you’re new to walking with Jesus, it’s tempting to think setbacks mean you’re off God’s path. But here’s what I’ve learned after plenty of wrong turns: God’s not surprised by your stumbles. Sometimes it happens so that you can get back on His path (that was me). He’s the master of fresh starts, and He’s got a way to weave your broken pieces into something beautiful.
Why Starting Over Feels So Hard
I will be totally honest: starting over stings. It hits hard and it hurts. It’s not just the loss; it’s the fear you’re not enough to try again. It’s the loss of identity, or it was for me. It is the fear that you won’t have the resources to support yourself and/or your family. You replay what went wrong, wonder if you’re cut out for it, or scroll through social media where everyone else seems to be winning. I’m not just talking about work, but relationships with friends or family, trusts that have been broken, or huge mistakes that impact your reputation and your relationship with God. I’ve been there, staring at my empty calendar, feeling like I’d missed my shot both personally and professionally. The world says setbacks are the end, failure defines you, but God says it’s a setup for something new.
Scripture backs this up. Isaiah 43:19 says, “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland” (NIV). God’s not fazed by your wilderness moments—He’s already carving a path. Your restart is His canvas. He’s not only making a way, He will give you beauty and sustenance (streams) as you walk through this wasteland. God teaches us that walking with Him through the wasteland is not wasted time.
God’s Plan: Resilience Through Grace
The Bible’s packed with comeback stories. Joseph was sold into slavery, jailed, and forgotten, yet he rose to save nations (Genesis 37-45). Peter denied Jesus three times, but God restored him to lead the church (John 21:15-19). They didn’t let setbacks define them; God’s grace did. Lamentations 3:22-23 reminds us, “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning.” Every sunrise is God’s promise of a fresh start.
Last week, we talked about owning your God-given “weird” to shine for His glory. This is the next step: picking yourself up when life knocks you down, trusting God’s got a purpose for your restart. It’s not about erasing the past; it’s about building on it with faith.
How to Start Over Without Losing Hope
You don’t need to go through what I did to bounce back. Let me save you a lot of time and pain and share some lessons I’ve learned from dusting myself off. Here’s how to start over with God’s help:
- Own the Mess
Admit what went wrong without drowning in shame. Did you make a bad call? Miss a chance? Pick the wrong person? Say something you shouldn’t have? Name it, learn from it, and let it go. Psalm 51:10 says, “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” God’s ready to renew you, start that with honesty. - Pray for a New Vision
Ask God what’s next. He sees the big picture we can’t. After my business tanked and I finally decided to stand back up, I prayed for direction, and doors I didn’t expect, or never even imagined, opened. Proverbs 16:9 says, “In their hearts, humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” Let Him guide your restart. - Take One Small Step
You don’t need a grand plan, just start moving. Update your resume, text a friend, or read one Bible verse each morning. Small steps build momentum. I started with one freelance gig after my flop, and it grew from there. Zechariah 4:10 says, “Who dares despise the day of small things?” God doesn’t. - Find a Cheerleader
Surround yourself with people who believe in your comeback. A mentor, pastor, or friend can remind you who you are in Christ. I had friends and family whose encouragement kept me going. It still does. You never stop needing those cheerleaders in your life. And here’s a pro tip: when you don’t have a cheerleader in your life, become one for someone else. It seems counterintuitive that this would help you, but I can tell you from experience that it does. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says, “Two are better than one… If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” Find your lifter. Or be a lifter. If you do both, nothing can keep you down. - Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection
Every step forward counts, even if it’s messy. Did you try again? That’s a win. God’s not grading your polish—He’s cheering your heart. Philippians 1:6 says, “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion.” Trust His process, because it’s God’s process.
God’s Got Your Comeback
Starting over isn’t about making huge strides on the daily, it’s about being faithful. I’ll say it again, God’s not done with you, no matter how big the setback. I’ve learned the hard way that every restart is a chance to see His grace at work. After you trip up, this is how you keep going: one brave, God-led step at a time.
So when life feels like a bad rerun in black and white, open your Bible, take a deep breath, and trust God’s writing a new chapter. And it’s full of the most beautiful colors you could ever imagine. You’re never alone. God is with you, turning your setbacks into comebacks, one resilient step at a time.
☕ A little faith, a little courage, and a whole lot of stubborn joy. – Tonya
What’s one time you had to start over—or a small step you’re taking to bounce back? Drop a comment—I’d love to hear your story!
© 2025 All posts written by Tonya E. Lee
