Why Church Matters (Even If You’re Not Sure You Need It)

Okay, let’s be real: church can feel like a lot. You walk in, everyone’s singing songs you don’t know, and there’s that one person way too excited about the bake sale. Or maybe you’ve been to a place where it felt like everyone was sizing you up, wondering if you’re “Christian enough.” And the coffee? Usually tastes like regret. If you’re new to this Jesus thing, you might be asking: Do I have to go to church to be a Christian? Or, more honestly, Why would I even want to?

I get it. I’ve had Sundays where I’d rather stay home with my coffee and a podcast than deal with small talk and sermons. I’ve also been to churches where I felt like I didn’t belong. Like I was crashing someone else’s family reunion. But here’s what I’ve learned after plenty of trial and error: church isn’t just a building or a to-do list item. It’s a messy, beautiful, sometimes awkward gift from God. No, you don’t have to go to be a Christian but you’re missing something big if you skip it altogether. And God asks us to go. So, let’s unpack this, because if church feels confusing or off-putting, you’re not alone, and there’s a way to make it work for you.

Why Church Feels Like a Nope Sometimes

Sometimes church makes you want to sprint for the exit. I’ve been there, trust me. Maybe you’ve met people who talk all holy in the sanctuary but act shady the second they’re out the door. Hypocrisy’s the worst, and it’s real, Jesus called out the Pharisees for it in Matthew 23:27-28. As a Southern Baptist preacher’s kid, I’ve seen it all, and it can make you question why you even showed up.

Or maybe the whole setup just doesn’t feel like your thing. The music might be too loud at one place, too old-school at another, or the sermons land like a boring lecture. In an era where you’re used to curating your own playlists and streaming on-demand, church can feel like it’s stuck in someone else’s algorithm, not yours.

If you’ve been judged, ignored, or burned by church people, that’s another reason it might feel like a hard pass. Showing up again can seem like signing up for more hurt. If that’s you, check out my post on church hurt, it’s real, and I’m so sorry you’ve been through it.

Then there’s the question of why you’d even bother. If you’re praying, reading your Bible app, maybe listening to a worship playlist every day, you might think, “I’m good with God, why add church?” It’s a fair thought, but there’s more to it than going through the motions alone.

Here’s the truth: you’re not wrong to feel any of this. Church isn’t perfect because it’s full of people, and people are messy. But God designed it for a reason, and it’s not to make you miserable or force you into a mold.

What Church Actually Is

The Bible doesn’t say, “Thou shalt attend church or else.” But it does talk a lot about community. Hebrews 10:24-25 says, “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another.” That church is not a fancy building, but a group of people trying to follow Jesus together, cheering each other on.

Think of it like this: you can survive on protein bars and water, but a real meal with friends hits different. Church is that meal. That messy, sometimes overcooked, but nourishing in a way solo faith can’t replicate. It’s where you’re challenged, supported, and reminded you’re not doing this alone. Jesus didn’t just die for you. He died for a family, the body of Christ (1 Corinthians 12:27). And yeah, families can be annoying, but they’re also home.

So, Do You Have to Go?

Nope. Salvation isn’t a punch card. You don’t need 52 Sundays a year to “qualify” as a Christian. Romans 10:9 says it’s about believing in Jesus and confessing He’s Lord. Church doesn’t save you; Jesus does. But here’s the flip side: Jesus loves the church. Ephesians 5:25 says He “gave himself up for her.” If Jesus thinks it’s worth dying for, maybe it’s worth giving a shot.

Church isn’t about earning God’s approval, it’s about growing. It’s where you hear truth, wrestle with questions, and find people who’ll pray for you when life’s falling apart. I’ve had moments where a sermon hit me right where I needed it, or a friend from church texted me just when I needed it. That’s not coincidence; that’s God using His people.

How to Make Church Work for You

If you’re new to faith and church feels like a foreign country, here’s how to step in without feeling overwhelmed:

1. Find a Church That Fits (But Don’t Be Too Picky at First): Look for a place that teaches the Bible and feels welcoming, but don’t expect perfection. Try a few. Some are chill, some are intense. YouVersion’s church finder or asking friends can help. 
2. Go With an Open Heart: Psalm 133:1 says, “How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!” Show up ready to connect, not just critique. You might be surprised who God puts in your path.
3. Start Small: You don’t have to join the worship team or sign up for every potluck. Just show up, listen, and maybe chat with one person. Baby steps, friend.
4. Set Boundaries if Needed: If a church feels toxic (red flags: controlling leaders, gossip central, the “us four and no more” clicky mentality), it’s okay to walk away. Find a healthier one. God’s not tying you to a bad church any more than He would a bad relationship. 
5. Try Online if In-Person’s Rough: If you’re super introverted or live somewhere with no solid churches, online services can be a start. I’ve had to do this a lot lately. It’s not the best, but it works in a bind. But don’t stay solo forever, community matters.

Church Is About Meeting God, Not Just Meeting People

Before we wrap up, let’s get to the heart of it: church isn’t really about us. Sure, it’s a place for community and worship, but it’s so much more. It’s a sacred space, set apart from the noise of our everyday world, where we meet God Himself. Leviticus 19:30 says, “Observe my Sabbaths and have reverence for my sanctuary. I am the Lord.” Church is where we step into God’s presence, not just to feel good or connect with others, but to honor Him with our whole selves.

It’s also about discipleship, growing to be more like Jesus. Church is where you learn to follow Him through teaching, serving, and accountability. Matthew 28:19-20 tells us to “make disciples,” and that happens in community, where we’re shaped by God’s Word and each other’s examples. I’ve had moments in church where a single verse in a sermon changed how I saw God, and that’s discipleship at work.

And let’s talk about tithing, not just giving money, but offering our first fruits, our love, and our time. Malachi 3:10 says, “Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house.” God asks for our best, not because He needs it, but because it transforms us. When I started tithing my time, volunteering to help with kids’ ministry even when I was tired, I found my faith grew deeper. Church is where we give God our love through serving others, our time through showing up, and our resources to build His kingdom. It’s not about what we get; it’s about what we give to the One who gave everything for us.

Church Is Worth It, Even When It’s Messy

I won’t lie: church can be a lot. I’ve left services annoyed, hurt, or just bored. But I’ve also found people who’ve become family, who’ve prayed me through dark days and celebrated my wins. Church isn’t perfect, but neither am I, and somehow, God uses it to make us more like Him. It’s where you learn to forgive, to serve, to love people who aren’t like you. That’s not just “nice”, it’s transformative.

So, new Christian friend, give church a chance. You don’t have to go every Sunday or pretend you’ve got it all together. Just show up, be real, and let God do the rest. You might find a home you didn’t expect and a faith that’s stronger for it.

☕ A little faith, a little courage, and a whole lot of stubborn joy. – Tonya

What’s been your experience with church, love it, hate it, or somewhere in between? Drop a comment, I’d love to hear your story and figure this out together!

© 2025 All posts written by Tonya E. Lee