Why Don’t I Fit In? (Owning Your Weird for God’s Glory)

Picture this: me, age 15, rocking a perm that looked like my poodle on a bad day, trying to blend in with the cool kids at school. Here’s a not-so-big surprise: I didn’t. I was the girl who’d rather read C.S. Lewis than gossip about prom. No matter how hard I tried, I never made it to the popular table. I spent years feeling like I was one quirky step away from fitting in, until I realized God didn’t make me to blend in. He made me to stand out, weirdness and all, for His glory. Take it from me, with a few decades and coffee stains to show for it: your “weird” is exactly what God’s working with.

We’ve all felt it—that ache when you don’t quite fit. Maybe you’re the only one at work who skips happy hour to pray, or your Instagram feed screams “perfect” while you’re burning toast, cursing under your breath, and doubting yourself. If you’re new to walking with Jesus, it’s easy to think you need to change your personality to belong. But here’s what I’ve learned after plenty of wrong turns: God didn’t make a mistake when He made you. Your quirks, your differences, your so-called “weird”? They’re His design, and He’s got a plan to use them.

Why Fitting In Feels Like a Trap

If you’ve ever been there then you know: trying to fit in is exhausting. You tweak your personality, hide what makes you different, or nod along to conversations that don’t feel right, all to feel accepted. There have been plenty of times in my life I felt like I didn’t belong anywhere—work, parties, even family occasions. I chased friend groups who seemed to have life figured out, mimicking their style and swallowing my own thoughts to keep up. It left me hollow, like I was playing a part in someone else’s story. Social media makes it worse. Everyone’s curated life looks like the mold you’re supposed to fit, and your real, messy self feels like a misfit.

The world tells you to conform, but God says you’re set apart. 1 Peter 2:9 calls you “a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light” (NIV). That’s not a call to blend in—it’s a call to shine, quirks and all. Your “weird” isn’t a flaw; it’s a special feature God built in for His purpose.

God’s Plan: Your Weird, His Glory

The Bible’s full of folks who didn’t fit in but changed the world by owning it. David was a shepherd boy, too small for armor, slinging rocks while others mocked him. Yet he took down Goliath (1 Samuel 17:40-50). Esther was a Jewish orphan, an unlikely queen, who risked everything to save her people (Esther 4:14). They didn’t fit the mold, but God used their unique design to do what no one else could.

Psalm 139:14 says, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” God crafted you—your introverted heart, your loud laugh, your obsession with vintage records—with intention. A few weeks ago, we talked about not quitting when life’s heavy and then choosing wisely over chasing feelings. This is the next piece: owning who God made you to be, even when the world says you don’t belong.

How to Own Your Weird Without Apology

You don’t need my psychology degree to embrace who you are—just a few lessons I’ve picked up after years of trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. Here’s how I’ve learned to own my weird for God’s glory:

Name What Makes You You
Write down what makes you “weird,” your passions, quirks, or the stuff you hide. Love knitting? Geek out over theology? That’s your God-given wiring. I used to hide my bookish side, but now I lean into it. Jeremiah 1:5 (NIV) says, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you.” God knew your quirks before you did—own them.
Find Your People
You don’t need everyone to get you, just a few who do. Seek friends who love Jesus and celebrate your uniqueness, not ones who want you to conform. My friend Janet, my best friend outside family, loves to talk with me about theology. She grills me and keeps me on my toes. She even reads all my books before anyone else sees them (so, if there are mistakes, blame her). 😄 Proverbs 17:17 (NIV) says, “A friend loves at all times.” Those friends are your tribe.
Use Your Weird for Good
Your quirks are tools God gave you. Love to write? Share your faith through a blog. Good with numbers? Help a ministry budget. In my 30s, I started using my nerdy love of research to lead Bible studies—it’s my sweet spot. Romans 12:6 says, “We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us.” Use yours, it’s why it’s there.
Talk to God About the Hard Stuff
Feeling like an outsider hurts. Trust me. I know. Pray about it. Ask God to show you how He sees you. I’ve cried to Him about not fitting in, and He’s reminded me I’m His. Philippians 4:6-7 says to bring your worries to God, and His peace will guard you. He’s listening.
Stop Comparing
Social media’s a highlight reel, not real life. Unfollow accounts that make you feel “less than” and focus on who God says you are. I quit scrolling past perfect lives a while back—it’s freeing. Galatians 1:10 asks, “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God?” Choose God’s approval.

You Were Made to Stand Out

You don’t have to change who you are to belong with God. He made you—quirks, passions, and all—to reflect His glory in a way no one else can. I’ve spent enough years trying to fit in to know that owning your “weird” is where freedom lives. After pushing through the overwhelm and learning to choose wisely, this is how you keep growing: by embracing the you God created, weirdness and all.

So next time you feel like you don’t fit, grab your Bible, embrace your weird, and thank God for making you one-of-a-kind. You’re not alone. He’s with you, turning your weird into worship, one bold step at a time. You gotta love that.

☕ A little faith, a little courage, and a whole lot of stubborn joy. – Tonya

What’s one quirky thing about you that you’re learning to love—or a time you felt like you didn’t fit in but saw God use it? Drop a comment—I’d love to hear your story!