Why Following Your Heart Might Not Be the Best Advice
You ever scroll through Instagram and see those quotes like, “Follow your heart, it knows the way!” plastered over a sunset with fancy cursive? Looks inspiring, right? Until you actually try it and end up with a $200 tattoo that says, “follow your bliss” you completely regret, a situationship that’s going nowhere, or a “dream” job that’s more like a nightmare. Been there, done that, got the tattoo to prove it. My heart once convinced me to move across the country for someone who left me soon after. Here’s a tip: the heart’s not the best GPS.
We’ve all felt the pull to “go with your gut” when a big decision hits—new job, relationship, life change. It’s everywhere—on social media, in movies, in those books you grab on a whim. And if you’re new to walking with Jesus, it’s tempting to think God’s on board. He gave you those feelings, so they must point the way, right? But here’s what I’ve learned after a few decades and plenty of wrong turns: your heart can lead you straight into a mess. Thankfully, God’s got a better plan to navigate this adulting chaos.
Why Your Heart’s a Lousy Life Coach
Let’s be honest: your heart’s got some major blind spots. One minute, it’s urging you to quit your job and backpack through Europe; the next, it’s panicking because you forgot to pay your phone bill. I’m not saying emotions are bad—God gave them to you for a reason. But they’re about as reliable as Wi-Fi in a thunderstorm. I learned this the hard way when I “followed my heart” into a business venture that sounded amazing but left me broke and eating instant ramen for a month. My heart was all passion, no plan.
Scripture doesn’t sugarcoat this. Jeremiah 17:9 (NIV) says, “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” Ouch. That’s not exactly a five-star review for your feelings. Your heart can trick you into thinking what feels right is right, even when it’s leading you straight into a mess. But God’s not leaving you to navigate solo. He’s got a roadmap, and it’s way steadier than your emotions.
God’s Plan: Wisdom Over Feelings
The Bible’s packed with people who could’ve chased their hearts but chose God’s way instead. Take Abraham. God told him to leave his comfy life and head to a land he’d never seen (Genesis 12:1-4). His heart probably screamed, “Stay where it’s safe!” But he trusted God’s voice over his feelings, and that faith made him the father of nations. Or look at Jesus in Gethsemane, praying, “Not my will, but yours be done” (Luke 22:42, NIV). If Jesus had followed His heart, He might’ve skipped the cross. Then we’d all be in trouble.
Proverbs 3:5-6 is my anchor when my heart tries to take the wheel: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight” (NIV). Notice it doesn’t say “follow your heart”—it says trust God with it. That’s the game-changer. Your feelings are real, but God’s wisdom is truth. After feeling like you want to quit everything like we talked about last time, this is the next step: learning to make choices that keep you moving forward, not just chasing what feels good.
How to Make Choices Without Chasing Feelings
So how do you adult without letting your heart call the shots? You don’t need a theology degree or a magic eight ball, just a few practical moves to stay grounded. Here’s what’s helped me (after some epic faceplants):
- Pray First, Feel Second
Before you make a big move, new job, new relationship, new city—hit pause and pray. Ask God for wisdom, not just a warm fuzzy feeling. James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” I started pausing and praying before decisions, and it’s saved me from a few heart-led disasters. - Check Scripture, Not Just Your Mood
Your Bible’s not just for church. Open it and see what God says about your situation. Thinking of dating someone? Check 1 Corinthians 13 for what love really looks like. Want to quit your job? Proverbs has tons on work and diligence. Psalm 119:105 says, “Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.” Let God’s Word guide you. - Talk to a Wise Friend
Find someone who’s walked with God longer: a mentor, pastor, or friend with their head on straight. You know I quote Proverbs 15:22 a lot, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers, they succeed.” My friend Janet’s my wisdom checkpoint. She’s stopped me from more than one mistake my heart was absolutely set on. - Wait It Out (Your Heart’s Impatient)
Our hearts love instant gratification, but God’s timing usually requires patience. If you’re not sure, wait. Sleep on it. Pray on it. I’ve learned that if my heart’s yelling “Do it now!” it’s usually a red flag. God’s plans don’t have an expiration date, but bad decisions can cost you for a lifetime. - Look for Fruit, Not Just Feelings
Jesus said you’ll know a tree by its fruit (Matthew 7:16). Before you follow your heart, ask: What’s this choice producing? Peace, growth, faith? Or chaos, stress, regret? That business venture that tanked? Zero fruit, all thorns. Lesson learned.
Your Heart’s Not the Boss—God Is
You don’t have to ignore your feelings to adult like a Christian. God gave you a heart for a reason, it’s just not meant to run the show. When you let His wisdom lead, you’re not just dodging trainwrecks—you’re building a life that’s steady, purposeful, and way more fulfilling than any viral quote could promise. After those moments when you feel like quitting, this is how you keep going: one wise choice at a time, trusting that God’s got the map.
So next time your heart’s shouting “Follow me!” take a deep breath, open your Bible, and talk to God. You’re not navigating adulting alone. He’s with you, guiding you past the bad tattoos and broken dreams to something real. You’ve got this, and He’s got you, one less regrettable step at a time.
☕ A little faith, a little courage, and a whole lot of stubborn joy. – Tonya
What’s one time your heart led you astray—or a moment you’re glad you trusted God instead? Drop a comment—I’d love to hear your story!
© 2025 All posts written by Tonya E. Lee
