Not a Cult, Just a Christian (When Your Family Doesn’t Get Your Faith)
So you come home for Thanksgiving, pass the mashed potatoes, and suddenly Uncle Larry leans back in his chair with a smirk: “So… still into that Jesus thing?” And just like that, your big bite of turkey feels like cardboard.
For a lot of young Christians, the hardest people to explain your faith to aren’t strangers on Reddit, it’s your own family. The people who changed your diapers, bought you braces, and taught you how to parallel park now act like you’ve joined a secret society that meets in basements and chants. They don’t always come out and say “cult,” but the raised eyebrows, awkward silences, or sarcastic comments at the dinner table can sting just as much.
It’s not that they hate you. They probably don’t even hate Christianity. Most of the time, they’re just confused. They don’t get why you’d spend Sunday mornings in church when you could be sleeping in, or why you tithe when “the pastor probably just drives a Mercedes.” And if you’ve ever said “I’m waiting for God’s direction” about a decision, well then, you’ve probably seen the look that says, Yup, she’s in a cult.
WHY FAMILY PUSHBACK HURTS THE MOST
I know it doesn’t feel good when coworkers roll their eyes at your faith, but you can shrug that off and go back to your desk. Family, though? That’s a different story. When it’s your parents, siblings, or grandparents questioning your sanity, it cuts deeper. Way deeper. But, it’s not a new thing.
Think about the families of the disciples. Can you imagine? “Hey, Mom and Dad, meet my friend Jesus. He’s the Messiah—you know, the one in the prophesies. I quit my job and I’m going to follow Him now.” I would think that there were a few lost tempers and fainting episodes, at least at first.
But Jesus wasn’t vague about this either. In Matthew 10:36 He said, “a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.” That doesn’t mean your mom is plotting against you — but it does mean that following Him can sometimes create tension even with the people you love most.
DON’T FIGHT. DON’T FOLD.
The temptation at the dinner table is usually one of two things: either get defensive and argue every little point, or shrink back and hide your faith so you don’t rock the boat. Neither of those works. And neither of those follow the pattern that God laid out for us.
Peter said it this way, “but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect” (1 Peter 3:15). That’s the sweet spot. Not an angry debate club, not a doormat, but a calm confidence that your faith is real and you don’t need everyone’s approval to prove it. That is how you honor the Lord.
HOW TO HANDLE FAMILY PUSHBACK WITHOUT LOSING YOUR COOL
Proverbs basically says sometimes the smartest thing you can do is shut your mouth. (Okay, it phrases it nicer, but you get the gist.) And when you’re navigating family who just don’t get your faith, that wisdom comes in handy. Here are a few steps that might let you keep your cool (at least until desert):
- Pick your battles. Not every sarcastic comment deserves a theological takedown. Sometimes silence is the holiest answer. Proverbs 17:27 says, “Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.”
- Be consistent. Let them see that your faith makes you kinder, more grounded, more patient — not just more preachy. Your life will say more than your lectures. Matthew 5:16 reminds us, “In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”
- Find safe allies. If one family member does get it, lean on them. If not, find a friend or mentor who can be your sounding board after the hard moments. Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 tells us, “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow.”
- Keep the main thing the main thing. You’re not trying to win an argument over casseroles. You’re showing what it looks like to love Jesus even when it’s awkward. John 13:35 says, “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
A BETTER STORY
There is hope. I know, I’ve seen it over and over. Sometimes, the same family members who once thought you’d lost your mind will later come to you in their own crisis. They’ll remember that you didn’t lash out, didn’t compromise, and didn’t make them your enemy. Instead, you stayed steady, loved them well, and kept your faith intact. Galatians 6:9 says, “Let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” That’s as true around the dinner table as it is anywhere else.
So no, you’re not in a cult. You’re just trying to follow Jesus in a world (and sometimes in a family) that doesn’t understand what it means to be “born again” yet. And that’s okay. Stay the course. Love them anyway. God’s not wasting your example. And pray for them, always and every day.
☕ My prayer for you is that you have a little faith, a little courage, and a whole lot of stubborn joy. – Tonya
How has your family reacted to your faith, and what’s helped you keep your peace in the middle of it?
© 2025 All posts written by Tonya E. Lee (because AI thinks I’m an idiot, but I write it anyway).
