Stop Waiting to Feel Like an Adult (Start Growing Into It, One Step at a Time)
You ever catch yourself waiting for that magical moment when you feel like an adult? Like one day you’ll wake up, the birds will be singing, your coffee will brew itself, and you’ll suddenly know how to file taxes without Googling “Why does the government hate me?” Sorry to break it to you but that day’s not coming. I’m 100% convinced adulthood isn’t a feeling—it’s a slow, messy, “I guess I’ll figure it out” kind of grind.
I used to think there’d be a switch. Like, I’d hit a certain milestone, actually feel qualified for my job, or buy a couch from an actual furniture store, and bam—adult mode activated. Well, it didn’t happen like that. Instead, I’m still over here texting my mom to ask if I can put wool in the dryer (you can’t, FYI—learned that the hard way). Turns out, adulthood isn’t a destination you arrive at with a welcome packet and a firm handshake. It’s a process. And the sooner you stop waiting to feel it, the sooner you can start growing into it.
Why We’re Stuck Waiting
We’ve been sold this lie that adulthood is a vibe—like you’ll just know when you’re there. Maybe it’s because movies show adults with perfect hair and zero doubts, or because Instagram makes it look like everyone else has their life on lock. Meanwhile, you’re still debating if 10 p.m. is too late for tacos (it’s not) on one night then if 8 p.m.is too early for bed the next night. But here’s the truth: most of us question our adulthood at least a little. And that’s okay—because the real stuff happens in the doing, not the feeling.
I’ve had moments where I thought, “Okay, this is it—I’m adulting.” Like when I paid off a credit card or baked bread with a sourdough starter I kept alive for more than a week. But then the next day, I’m googling “how to get pen ink out of a sofa” because I fell asleep mid-writing (yeah, sometimes I still write by hand), and I’m back to feeling like an unqualified teenager. Even at my age these feelings come and go. But true growth sticks around.
God Doesn’t Wait for You to Feel Ready
Remember this: God’s never been about waiting for us to feel qualified. Look at the Bible—He’s always picking people who are mid-mess and saying, “Yep, you’ll do.” Moses was 80 and hiding out with sheep when God tapped him to lead a nation (Exodus 3). David was a teenage shepherd when he got anointed king (1 Samuel 16). Esther was hiding her real identity and living a lie when she ended up saving her people (literally the entire book of Esther). None of them felt like adults—or heroes. They just took the next step.
Philippians 1:6 says, “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (NIV) Notice that? God’s not waiting for you to figure it all out—He’s already working in you, step by step. You don’t have to feel like an adult for Him to grow you into one.
How to Grow Into It (Without Overhauling Your Life)
So how do you stop waiting and start growing? It’s not about a dramatic glow-up montage. It’s about small, stubborn steps—because that’s where the real adulting happens. Here’s what’s worked for me:
- Pick One Thing and Do It Today
Don’t try to conquer the world. Just pick one adult-y thing—like scheduling that dentist appointment you’ve been dodging or putting $10 in savings. I started by making my bed every morning. Sounds basic, but it’s one less chaotic point in my day. And, if nothing else, I accomplished at least one thing first thing in the morning. Great way to start the day. Small wins build muscle. - Quit Waiting for Motivation
Motivation’s a liar—it shows up late and leaves early. Growth isn’t about feeling ready; it’s about showing up anyway. Want to pray more? Set your Bible on the counter and read one verse while your toast burns (kidding—don’t burn the toast). Point is, start where you are. - Own the Mess-Ups
You’re going to forget stuff, oversleep, or accidentally spend $20 on takeout when you swore you’d cook. It’s fine. Growth isn’t perfection—it’s getting back up. Proverbs 24:16 says, “The righteous fall seven times, they rise again.” Falling’s part of it. Staying down isn’t. - Trust God’s Got the Big Picture
You don’t need to see the whole road—just the next step. Psalm 37:23 says, “The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him.” He’s not asking you to have it all together—He’s asking you to trust Him while you figure it out.
You’re Already on Your Way
Here’s the secret no one tells you: you’re already adulting more than you think. Every time you pay a bill (even late), apologize for a mistake, or choose to keep going when you’d rather quit—you’re growing into it. It’s not about feeling like you’ve arrived; it’s about realizing you’re already in the game.
This life is a culmination of many moments. We always seem to get caught up in the big moments, just waiting for the “life-changer” to come along. Here’s a tip: it rarely comes. The big moments are not the life-changing moments. The small moments and the small, daily decisions are the life-changing ones.
You’ve Got More Going Than You Think
I’ve been around the block enough to know this: we humans are tougher than we give ourselves credit for. I’ve had my share of “Am I even doing this right?” days—times I burned dinner, missed a deadline, or wondered if I’d ever get the hang of life. But looking back, those little steps—like paying a bill on time or just showing up when I didn’t feel like it—added up. They made me who I am.
You don’t need to wait for some big aha moment. You’re already building something solid, even if it feels like you’re just stumbling through. God’s not up there tapping His foot, waiting for you to catch up—He’s walking with you, cheering every time you take a step, even the wobbly ones. So cut yourself some slack, keep moving, and trust me—you’re growing into this adult thing way better than you realize. You’re not just getting by; you’re becoming the adult God’s shaping you to be, one steady step at a time.
☕ A little faith, a little courage, and a whole lot of stubborn joy. – Tonya
What’s one small step you’re taking to grow into adulthood? Drop a comment—I’d love to cheer you on!
© 2025 All posts written by Tonya E. Lee
