THE LOST ART OF GRIT (Why Adulthood is mostly just doing it anyway)

My yesterday started with nausea. Not the “I don’t feel great” nausea. More like the “don’t breathe too hard or I’ll lose my lunch” kind of nausea. My stomach churned like a washing machine on spin cycle. But the days when someone would take care of me when I didn’t feel well are long gone. I still had work to get done. No substitutions. No passes. And after I got out of the shower and headed to the coffeepot, I saw the capper of my morning: at some point in the night, my refrigerator died. I don’t mean it struggled. I mean, it flatlined.

And when your fridge gives up the ghost, you don’t get to process your feelings about it over time. You have very short minutes to save your groceries, your sanity, and the cost of replacing a ton of food. So, I did what every adult eventually learns to do. I got to business. Sick stomach, pounding head, and all. Because life didn’t ask how I felt. It handed me a mess and waited to see what I’d do with it.

More often than not, this is what grown-up life looks like. It’s rarely smooth or well-timed. It doesn’t pause when you’re tired, and it doesn’t hand out applause when you keep going. That kind of follow-through isn’t glamorous, but there’s something to it that (when it’s over) gives you a sense of accomplishment that few things can. Scripture says in Colossians 3:23, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord…” That’s not just for missionaries and worship leaders. That’s for every single one of us: on the job, in the laundry room, on the kitchen floor with a trash bag full of thawing meat.

EVERYTHING HURTS AND I’M STILL RESPONSIBLE

Let’s call it what it is: adulting is a grind. Not a season. Not a temporary rough patch. It’s a lifestyle that just won’t go away. It’s learning to meet life where it is and keep moving even when you’d rather lie down and dramatically refuse to participate. I’ve had to learn that lesson more than once, and usually the hard way.

The fridge fiasco? It wasn’t an emergency in the cosmic sense, though it felt like a massive emergency in life – how do I fix this? (New $150 control board ordered.) How do I get this repaired? (The repairman is too expensive, I have to do this myself.) Can I use my parents’ extra fridge? (That was a yes, but a late one after the board was ordered.) It was awful. But it was also just a Tuesday. And that’s the part of adulting no one warned us about. You don’t get to tap out just because your stomach is queasy and your groceries are melting. You respond. You figure it out. You get it done, not because you feel amazing, but because something needs doing and you’re the one standing there with a wrench in one hand and a block of cheese in the other, cause if you’re going to open up the guts of your fridge, you might as well enjoy some Gouda.

Colossians 3:23 isn’t for people who feel motivated. It’s for people who don’t. It reminds us that our effort is a form of worship, even when that looks like dragging a trash can to the curb while muttering about expired yogurt and the cost of eggs.

THE MYTH OF MOTIVATION

Somewhere along the way, we started believing we need to feel like doing something before we actually do it. Motivation became the measuring stick. And if we didn’t have it, we assumed we were doing something wrong.

But motivation is fickle. Grit isn’t.

Proverbs 12:24 tells us that “Diligent hands will rule, but laziness ends in forced labor.” Grit doesn’t wait to be in the mood. It doesn’t stall out when things are inconvenient. Grit shows up even when your body’s tired, your brain’s foggy, or your heart feels like it’s somewhere else entirely. And you know where that leads you? You have more control over your situation. Maybe not complete control, but you certainly aren’t a slave to it.

As someone who’s walked through both productivity and burnout, I can tell you this: adulting rarely feels magical. It often feels ordinary. But ordinary faithfulness? That’s where spiritual muscle gets built. That’s where character grows. Grit is obedience before inspiration. It’s what keeps you grounded when your feelings want to make you hide under the covers and with Netflix and a bag of chips.

And speaking of feelings…

FEELINGS MATTER (EXCEPT WHEN THEY DON’T)

When I was a teenager, I’d get overwhelmed or emotional about something, and my dad—my loving, wise, and very direct (if you know him, you know)—would say, “Feelings don’t matter.” At the time, I hated that phrase. It felt cold. Like he was dismissing what I was going through. I would get furious. I’d think, How can you say that? Of course they matter!

But now that I’m older, I get it (don’t tell him I said that).

He wasn’t saying feelings were irrelevant. He was saying they couldn’t be the deciding factor in how I moved forward with the business at hand. That life couldn’t always bend to accommodate my emotions. If you’ve been taught to lead with your emotions, you’ve been sold a lie. And a dangerous one at that. Because if you let your feelings drive, they’ll steer you right into a ditch every time.

You’re going to have feelings. Some of them loud. Some of them accurate. Some of them total liars. But the stuff that needs doing in life (responsibilities, faith, work…) doesn’t adjust itself based on how well-rested or emotionally regulated you are. Your purpose holds steady. And part of maturity is learning to feel your feelings without letting them vote on whether you follow through.

HOW TO FOLLOW THROUGH WHEN YOU’D RATHER CRY

So, yeah, yesterday I wanted to cry. Especially when I called around to see who could move the dead fridge out and my parents’ fridge in ($700 minimum). But then I sat down and started thinking about what I could do to make it easier for me to handle the day. Here’s what I came up with and I have to tell you, it helped:

Set the Standard Higher than Your Feelings. We weren’t called to perform Christianity. We are called to the grind. As I mentioned before, Colossians 3:23 reminds us that we work for the Lord, not for likes, applause, or even validation. The standard isn’t how you feel. The standard is one foot in front of the other, no matter if we want to cry or vomit.
Break the Big Stuff into Small Stuff. Overwhelmed? Don’t tackle everything. Do one faithful thing at a time. Proverbs 21:5 says, “The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty.” Small, steady steps build real momentum. Take the meds for nausea and headache. Order the part for the fridge. Take the food out and take it to my parents’ fridge for the night. Grade students’ discussion board assignments. Check. Check. Check. When it’s listed, it seems manageable to me.
Talk to Yourself, And God. Sometimes you need to have a full-on Psalm 103:1 moment: “Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.” Tell your emotions where to go. Preach to yourself. Say out loud what you need to do. Tell God what you need. I can’t tell you how many times I said, “Okay, I can do this” to myself yesterday. Be your own cheerleader.
Anchor Your Day in the Right Identity. You’re not a robot. You’re a deeply loved child of God, doing His work even when it looks like laundry or spreadsheets. He’s the one who sets our steps. He knows what we need to do and how we feel about it. On those days that work seems like the absolute worst, God already prepared a way for us to deal with it.
Celebrate Quiet Wins. Finishing the hard thing is holy. I mean it. That sounds stupid, or even disrespectful. But it’s true, if we allow it to be. Write the email. Feed the dog. Pick up the prescription. Try to fix the dead fridge. Worship happens in those tiny acts of perseverance. And yes, you’re allowed to feel proud of that. Then say, “Thank you, Lord,” and just breathe.

GRIT, GLORY, AND THE GOD WHO SEES

Galatians 6:9 says, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” I’ve always loved that verse. This is the good stuff of the Bible, because it makes all this stuff matter. God sees the follow-through. He honors the ordinary. He rewards the one who keeps going.

This is what grit looks like in the Kingdom: Doing the next faithful thing. The normal thing. The thing that makes us want to cringe. The thing that needs to be done when we don’t feel like it. Then doing it again. Sometimes with joy. Sometimes with a groan. But always with the assurance that this isn’t wasted.

Finishing isn’t sexy. It’s sacred. It’s holy obedience with your sleeves rolled up and your feelings put in their place. It’s showing up to do what needs to be done. Adulting isn’t always fun. But it’s who we are, and we all have our place in this world, whether you’ve discovered yours or not. You matter. Your adulting matters. Stepping up to the plate and doing what you need to do matters. And, I’m proud of you for it.

☕ May you have a little faith, a little courage, and a whole lot of stubborn joy. – Tonya

What’s been the hardest thing for you to follow through on lately? I’d love to hear.

THE LOST ART OF GRIT (Why Adulthood is mostly just doing it anyway)