The Pressure to Perform (And Why the Real You Is So Much Better)

So, I’m out for a morning walk, pretending I’ve got my life on lock, when I decide to snap a pic with my dog, Riley. That dog is straight-up poodle perfection—fluffy curls, strutting like he’s ready for a doggy Vogue cover. Me? I’m a hot mess: my hair’s sticking up like I just lost a fight with a leaf blower, my hoodie’s got a coffee stain (classic me move), and I’m squinting because the sun’s hitting me like a high beam in a fog. 

I open Instagram to post, and boom—I’m lost in a filter spiral. Do I go for “retro glow” or “blessed chaos”? An hour later, I’m still fiddling with captions, convinced this pic needs to scream “I’m winning at life!” Truth? I’m just a gal who forgot to do laundry and is praying my car doesn’t need an oil change (if you read my book, you know how good I am with that). 

Ever feel like your Instagram self is some polished, alternate-universe you who’s got it all together? The one with the curated grid, the snappy Bible verse captions, the vibe that says “I woke up like this”? Meanwhile, the real me is wondering if mac-and-cheese is a personality trait and hoping nobody notices I haven’t washed my car in three months. Social media’s got us performing like we’re on a reality show we didn’t audition for. And as a Christian, trying to adult with Jesus in a world obsessed with likes? It’s like trying to pray while TikTok’s trying to get you to twerk. 

So, let’s get real about why we’re hooked on faking it online, what God thinks of the messy, unfiltered you, and how to ditch the performance for a life that’s actually yours. Come to find out, it’s got nothing to do with your follower count. 

Why We Perform (And Why It’s Draining Us)

Social media isn’t just a highlight reel—it’s a pressure cooker. Every post feels like a chance to prove you’re enough—successful enough, funny enough, Christian enough. I’ve caught myself scrolling and thinking, “She’s out here leading Bible studies and nailing her six-step nightly skincare routine? I can’t even remember where I parked my car.” It’s not just comparison; it’s the lie that you have to perform to be seen, loved, or valued. 

Psychologists call this “impression management”—the mental gymnastics of curating how others see you. It’s why you spend 10 minutes debating whether to post that vulnerable story or stick with a safe sunset pic. Gen Z, you guys are hit hard: studies show you spend up to 9 hours a day on screens, much of it crafting or consuming content. That’s an average of 63 hours a week! That’s a full-time job of performing, plus overtime! No wonder you guys are wiped out. 

But here’s the kicker: the more you chase that “Instagram self,” the further you drift from the real you—the one God made, coffee stains and all. You start believing your worth is tied to likes, comments, or how many people swipe up. And when the algorithm buries your post? It’s like the world’s whispering, “Sorry, you’re just not enough.” Ouch. I’ve been there. I know. 

God’s Not Checking Your Follower Count

Here’s where faith flips the script. The world says your value is in how many people show you attention online (good or bad, some people will take either). God says your value is in Him—period. Galatians 1:10 (NIV) hits like a truth bomb: “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” 

Paul’s basically saying: if you’re living for likes, you’re not living for Jesus. 

God doesn’t need your life to look beautiful. He’s not scrolling your feed, waiting for a perfectly staged Bible study setup (you know, the one with highlighters and a latte, sitting under the “bless this house” sign over the kitchen table). He sees the real you—the one who’s stressed about bills, who prays messy prayers, who accidentally locked themselves out of their house (come on, like I’m the only person who has ever done that). And that real you? God loves that you. Psalm 139:14 (NIV) says, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” You’re not just enough—you’re God’s masterpiece, no filter required. 

What’s more, God made you for a purpose, not a performance. Ephesians 2:10 (NIV) reminds us: “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Your worth isn’t in how many followers you have—it’s in the life God’s calling you to live, one day at a time. 

Remember this, Jesus didn’t perform for clout. He didn’t chase crowds or stage His miracles for viral moments. In fact, many times He specifically wanted to get away from the crowds. He lived authentically—loving, serving, and speaking truth, even when it wasn’t popular. If the Son of God didn’t need to impress people, why do we? 

How to Ditch the Performance and Live Unfiltered

So how do you break free from the pressure to perform when your phone’s buzzing with notifications? It’s not about deleting Instagram (though, props if you do). It’s about small, stubborn steps to root your identity in Christ, not your social stats. Here’s what’s worked for me so far—and trust me, I’m still working on myself: 

1. Audit Your Feed Like It’s Your Fridge
   If your social media’s full of accounts that make you feel less-than, it’s time to clean house. Unfollow people who spark envy or pressure you to perform. Follow accounts that point you to Jesus—think encouraging Christian creators or Bible verse pages that don’t make you feel like you need a theology degree to keep up. Curate your feed to reflect your faith, not your FOMO. Here’s a pro tip: If you wouldn’t eat moldy bread, don’t consume content that’s toxic or disgusting to your soul. 
2. Take a Social Media Sabbath
   Try a 24-hour break from social media—no posting, no scrolling. Sounds scary, I know. But it’s like hitting reset on your brain. Use that time to pray, journal, or just sit outside and breathe (bonus points if you don’t check your phone). I did this once, and yeah, I was twitchy for the first hour, but by the end of the day, I felt lighter. I felt better. The next time I opened my social, I wasn’t that engaged. Ask God to show you who you are without the likes. I’m telling you, it’s pretty awesome. 
3. Journal the Real You
   Grab a notebook and jot down who God says you are—loved, chosen, enough. Flip to 1 Samuel 16:7 for a gut-check: “The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (NIV). Then spill what you’d post if nobody was watching. Maybe it’s messy, maybe it’s raw—that’s the you God’s all about. I started doing this, and it’s like scraping off Instagram filters to find the real me, coffee stains, car troubles, locksmith best friend, and all.
4. Post with Purpose, Not Pressure
   Before you hit “share,” ask: “Am I posting to perform, or to point to Jesus?” If it’s the former, pause. If it’s the latter, go for it—whether it’s a goofy selfie or a verse that hit you hard. Matthew 5:16 (NIV) says, “Let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” Does this mean you have to be super “spiritual” all the time? Should you become the next TikTok saint? Absolutely not. Just share what glorifies God, not what chases clout. I’ve started sharing more real moments—like the time I had such a bad day that I felt the need to wear gold pants (BTW, it worked, I felt better and fully recommend it). Those posts don’t get a ton of likes, but they feel honest and more of who I really am. 

You’re More Than Your Highlight Reel

Listen, you don’t have to keep up the performance. You’re not a brand, a trend, or a failure if your post flops. Or none of your friends even check out your reel. Most days my mom doesn’t even like my posts. You’re a child of God, created on purpose, for a purpose. And that purpose isn’t to get 1,000 likes—it’s to love God, love others, and live a life that points to Him, even when the Wi-Fi’s down and your coffee’s cold. 

So take a deep breath. Put down the phone for a minute. Use part of those 63 hours a week doing something for someone else. Or just spend it with Jesus. You don’t need a filter to be seen—you’re already known and loved by the Creator of everything, and He matters most. And the real you? Well, you’re way more amazing than any Instagram grid could ever show. 

☕ A little faith, a little courage, and a whole lot of stubborn joy. – Tonya

What’s one way social media makes you feel pressure to perform? Or, what’s a “real you” moment you’re proud of? Drop a comment—I’d love to cheer you on! 

© 2025 All posts written by Tonya E. Lee