Well, That Didn’t Go as Planned (How to Get Back Up When You Miss the Mark)

You ever have one of those days where you’re pretty sure the universe is just pranking you? Like, you burn your toast, spill coffee on your last clean shirt (can you tell I do this a lot?), and then your boss emails you “we need to talk” five minutes before your workday ends. Or maybe it’s bigger—like you bomb a test you actually studied for, get ghosted by someone you thought was solid, or realize the “five-year plan” you made at 18 is now a crumpled Post-it note in life’s trash can.

I have some news for you: failure isn’t an “if”—it’s a “when.” It’s not some rare glitch that only happens to “those people.” It’s baked into being human. You’re going to mess up. You’re going to fall flat. And no amount of manifesting good vibes or hustle quotes on Instagram will dodge that bullet.

But here’s the better news: failure doesn’t get the last word. God does. And He’s not fazed by your faceplants—He’s ready to help you get back up. So, let’s talk about what to do when life knocks you down, because trust me, I’ve been there, and I’ve got the coffee stains to prove it.

Failure Feels Like the End (But It’s Not)

First off, can we just admit failure stinks? It’s not cute. It’s not fun. It’s that gut-punch moment where you’re like, “Well, I guess I’m trash now.” I’ve had my share—flunked a psych exam I swore I’d ace (ironic, right?), tanked an interview because I forgot how words work, and once accidentally set off my apartment’s fire alarm trying to cook a frozen pizza (it was college, I’ve gotten better).

It’s easy to think failure defines you—like it’s a permanent tattoo instead of a bruise that fades. But the Bible’s full of people who fell hard and still got back up. Take Peter: this guy literally walked on water with Jesus, then denied even knowing Him three times when the pressure hit. If that’s not a public flop, I don’t know what is. Yet Jesus didn’t throw him away—He gave him a another chance and made him a cornerstone of the church (John 21:17).

The point is, failure isn’t your finish line. It’s just a pit stop.

How to Get Back Up (Without Faking It)

So, you’ve fallen—maybe it’s a small stumble, maybe it’s a full-on crash. Now what? You don’t have to pretend you’re fine or slap a “God’s got this” Band-Aid on it and call it a day. Here’s what’s worked for me when I’ve been down for the count:

1. Feel It—But Don’t Camp There
   You’re allowed to be mad, sad, or just straight-up over it. Suppressing that mess is like shoving a raccoon in a closet—it’ll claw its way out eventually and it’s gonna be mad. Cry if you need to. Yell into a pillow. Tell God exactly how much it stinks. Psalm 34:18 (NIV) says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” He’s not scared off by your meltdown—He’s right there in it. Just don’t pitch a tent in the misery. Feel it, then pack up that tent and move forward.
2. Own It (No Excuses)
   Sometimes failure’s on us—poor choices, lazy moments, or just not showing up. I’ve had to eat that humble pie more times than I’d like to admit. Other times, it’s out of our hands—life just throws a curveball. Either way, own your part. Not to beat yourself up, but to figure out what you can learn. Proverbs 24:16 (NIV) says, “For though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again.” Falling’s not the issue—staying down is.
3. Lean on Someone Solid
   You don’t have to climb out of the pit solo. Call a friend who won’t just nod and say “you’re fine”—find someone who’ll listen, then nudge you forward. Needing people doesn’t mean you’re weak—it means you’re human. Even Jesus leaned on his friends. I’ve got certain people who are my go-to’s—they’ll pray with me, laugh at my dumb mistakes, and tell me to get off my rear end and stop feeling sorry for myself, all in one convo. Find your person.
4. Take One Tiny Step
   You don’t need a grand comeback plan. Just do something. Make your bed. Wash one dish. Read one verse—like Lamentations 3:22-23 (NIV): “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning.” One step reminds you you’re not stuck. God’s mercies reset daily—failure doesn’t get a permanent vote.

God’s Bigger Than Your Biggest Flop

Here’s what I’ve learned the hard way: God’s not keeping score of your screw-ups. He’s not up there going, “Welp, that’s strike three—better luck next life.” His grace isn’t a limited-time offer. Romans 8:28 (NIV) says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” All thingsincludes your failures. He’s weaving them into something you can’t even see yet.

I have degrees, experiences, and successes, but none of that stopped me from bombing parts of my own life. I’ve made choices I’d redo in a heartbeat—hurt people I love, chased stuff that didn’t matter. Tried things that turned out to be epic fails. But every time I’ve fallen, God’s picked me up, dusted me off, and said, “We’re not done.” He’s done it for me; He’ll do it for you.

You’re Not Out—You’re Just Getting Started

Failure feels like a period, but it’s really just a comma. You’re going to trip again—probably soon. Me too. But each time, you get a little better at getting up. You learn what works, what doesn’t, and how to lean harder on God when your legs are shaky.

Next time life knocks you down, resist the urge to stay curled up in bed, scrolling through memes to numb the sting (been there—no judgment). Instead, take a deep breath and let God help you back up. You haven’t failed out; you’re still growing. You’ve got time. And take it from me—the view from the other side of this setback is absolutely worth the climb.

God specializes in turning your meltdown into a moment of growth. Let Him.

☕ A little faith, a little courage, and a whole lot of stubborn joy. – Tonya

What’s one failure you’ve bounced back from—or are still figuring out? Drop a comment—I’d love to hear your story!

© 2025 All posts written by Tonya E. Lee